Oh geeze… That money from my grandma could really help me…. But this poor lady at the car shop literally has no rear breaks and I can hear her talking to her husband about how their fridge died last two days ago, and her husband is laid off and just got taken off of unemployment and just… Ugh… I don’t even.
So I was doing some facebook stalking and looking through this guy’s photos and it suddenly dawned on me that this person has a whole life of experiences outside of the brief experiences we shared. And I really like this person, but it’s suddenly like I don’t even know this person because he’s experienced such a different life than I have. It just suddenly struck me as really scary that I could never go back and be a part of that person’s past, and that all memories we make will have to be from this point onwards. Like right now that person could be like sitting in bed listening to music or watching tv or talking to a friend and I will never know that. Just… Wow, people actually exist outside of me, and they do stuff even without me being there. How have I not realized how amazing and terrifying that is?
I’m seriously starting to question if I can feel genuine interest in another human. Looking back at my life so far… It’s not looking good. It’s actually starting to scare me how much disregard I have for 90% of the people around me.